Kate has always been very connected to God. She’s got her own direct line to The Man Upstairs, and she takes care of our family’s spiritual needs. Our pastor friend has quoted her more than once in a sermon. She just gets it. Or at least she used to.
Kate: “Mommy, where is God?”
Me: “Well, God is everywhere.”
Kate: “Is God in my grilled cheese?”
Me: “Ummm. Well, yeah. He’s here, with us now. He watches over us.”
Kate: “Why can’t I see Him? If He’s here, why doesn’t He come in here and talk to us?”
Me: “Well… He’s everywhere. He’s in our home, but he’s also with Daddy right now, helping him to drive safe. And He’s with us when we are sad, or scared, and when we’re happy too.”
Kate: “But why can’t I see Him?”
Me: “Because He’s invisible.”
Kate: “What’s invisible? That means we can’t see Him, but He’s here?”
Kate: “But I want to see Him. If I can’t see Him, how do I know He’s here?”
Me: “Well, we just know. We can feel it in our heart.”
Kate: Clutching her heart, “Well, I can’t feel Him. I don’t feel a thing.” Now she’s really pressing her hand to her chest, feeling all around. “I really really don’t feel ANYTHING in my heart.”
Me: “Maybe you should ask Grandma these questions.”
Kate: “Because Grandma is old? And old people know God more better?”
I once heard a radio program on NPR about children and faith. They talked about how all children, regardless of religion, have an instinctual connection with God. Until about age 3 or 4, children understand and know God intimately. Then, the veil starts to drop. We spend the rest of our lives struggling with our individual spirituality. Finally, as we near death(whatever age that may be), the veil starts to lift again, and God becomes clear once more. According to their studies, this happens across every faith and religion, and even in people who have no faith or religion.
So I guess Kate is hitting the end of her Knowing. Sad.
(Also, I told my best friend about this blog. Other than David, the people in my real life don’t know it exists. I promised to send her the link, so: Hi Best Friend on the East Coast! Welcome! Um, Quality Control is a little lax around here, so please still think I’m wonderful and brilliant even though you find errors and typos and rambling thoughts! Thanks for the idea for this post! You’re the best! See, I have mentioned you here!)