Everyday I think about whether or not I want to have another child. Some days I don’t feel done having a baby in the house. I love babies, love being pregnant, love the mystery of how our family will change shape. I love the breastfeeding, the cuddling, all of those “firsts”. The lack of sleep, while definitely on the sucktatude scale, does not bother me as much as it does other moms. (You: *raised eyebrow*. You: *thinking about how this blog in nearly always about how tired I am* You: *checking to see if you are reading Marie Green, or someone entirely different* Me: It’s sort of like labor ok? I forget just how much it sucks.)
So then, on the other hand, I don’t know if I want FOUR kids. Three kids is a lot- A LOT- of kids, and I feel like adding another might just put me over the edge. I don’t want to be one of those moms who is just barely hanging on, barely managing to get through each day. It’s not about what I can or cannot “handle”- it’s about enjoying my life and being a happy person.
(It’s not about having a boy either. Even if I were 100% sure that our next baby would be a girl, I would still be thinking about it every day, as undecided as I am now.)
Also? There’s that little tiny fear that we will finally decide to go for it…. and then have twins again. THIS WOULD NOT BE FUNNY, so don’t even chuckle a little bit to yourself.
Would anyone ever invite us over for dinner if we had FOUR kids?