What I got paid to do last night:
*Clay Aiken is gay? NO WAY! Didn’t see that coming.
*Mary Kate and Ashley: eating disorder or reduced kidney/liver function? Girls, you need some color on your cheeks. Also, a cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake. Super sized.
*Tori Spelling, are you trying to look like Michael Jackson? Do you think, perhaps, you’ve had enough procedures? Honey, if you do anymore, you’ll look more plastic-y Zsa Zsa Gabor.
*Lindsey Lohan- Is she really gay, or has she finally whored* her way through all available Hollywood men?
*Brittney Spears is finally looking healthy. Though after she shaved her head, there really was no place to go but ^up.
*Dibs on Tina Fey as my new Pretend Celebrity Girlfriend (credit to Beth for the wordage). Those SNL skits are little pick-me-ups– sanity savers even! “We’ll ask ourselves ‘What would a maverick do?’ and then we’ll do something maverick-y.” **
*according to spell check this is not a word, just so you know.
**not a direct quote, but close
(my internet is being difficult, so I am not able to look anything up with any speed.)