One thing that I really look for in the people I make connections with is emotional honesty. I talk with lots of pregnant women and lots of new mothers and lots of experienced moms, and I feel like I KNOW what it’s like down in the trenches of motherhood.
There are so many wonderful things about having these little people around that call us “Mommy” and want only us when they are hurt or scared. It is rewarding beyond measure and satisfying beyond words.
It’s also a relentless, all-consuming, thankless job, being someones personal butt wiper, chef, laundress, butler, and milk factory. Sometimes we just want QUIET. Or SPACE. Or a SHOWER without also refereeing a cat fight through the curtain.
There are a handful of people that come to mind (nope, not you!) that are just so Rose-colored-lens when it comes to EVERYTHING, but most especially their kids. Their babies only spit up mint flavored, chocolate molded butterflies! And their night waking is a bliss-filled three hours of teaching baby signs! And mopping up the floor 3857312 times a day is a GIFT FROM GOD HIMSELF, THANK YOU JESUS FOR THESE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
Well, that’s all good, but I can sniff out authenticity from at least 2 city blocks away. The real damage to mothers everywhere is done by these phony-bologna attitudes, because some moms (especially new moms) feel guilty about their own spit-up stained, filthy-floors existence when they listen to that crap.
I’m not saying that we all need to bitch and moan about every challenge we face. (I have a cousin on FB that does just that, and it’s equally annoying). However, I love to have real conversations about our experiences.
I feel like the blog world, or at least the tiny corner of it that I am a part of, excels at Telling It Like It Is. So thank you, blog friends for being so honest about your lives.
(Also, it must be said, I feel lucky to have so many brick-and-mortar moms that ALSO have formed a community of truth. If I’ve invited you to read this blog, you must be part of that tribe!)
Many women of today are banding together to support each other through the peaks and valleys of raising kids. But my husband? He does not have this same support either IRL or online. I feel like there is a real gap for DADS these days, in terms of sharing their experiences and communing together.
Do any of your male partners have an outlet for this sort of thing, where they can “bond” with other dads/men through shared parenting experiences? Or is it mostly just a girl thing?