My brick and mortar peeps will all tell you that I have a policy, known far and wide, about becoming your friend. It goes like this: if you live in Tiny Town, and you are thinking about moving, I need a three year notice.
If you’re not planning on being here for more than three years, you need to tell me ASAP. I need time to detach myself emotionally, and to replace you in my life. Upon receiving your three year notice, I will start the process of Pulling Away from you, so that by the time you actually move, there will be nary a glint of a tear in my eye.
I know that most folks living in any kind of suburban/metropolis deal with people coming and going all the time. But you see, therein lies the difference: COMING and going.
[Cool] People don’t come to Tiny Town nearly as often as [cool] people leave Tiny Town.
One of the hardest times in my adult life was right after we found out our very good friends were moving. I grieved them going- am still grieving it in some ways- and it’s been almost 4 years.
With them gone, I felt adrift, floating no where, lost. She was the first friend I had as a mom- we became friends as we became mothers, meeting when we were both pregnant with our first daughters. We were raising our kids together, spending holidays together.
In the intervening 4 years, I’ve seen beautiful results emerge from the mess of them leaving. I’ve met many more awesome people. I’ve gone from hating living here- and clinging to them as my life raft- to having lots of friends and loving it here. And if I’m being honest with my self, many of those changes probably wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t moved.
But now, here I am again. Watching as another family- people we are very close to- is contemplating a move, applying for jobs, testing those waters. And it suddenly hit me the other day: this kind of thing is going to keep happening to me.
All joking about “3 year notices” aside, I AM going to be left behind, over and over again. People are going to move here, and we are going to fall in love with them, and then they are going to move away.
I’m not willing to actually live my life so guarded as to not let “Possible Movers” into my life.
But it still really sucks.
I want all of our friends to send their kids to high school here, to be on the Prom Committee with me, for all of us to grow old together, smoking weed on the porch long after our kids leave the house.
I want this great community that we’ve created/found to remain intact; for our kids to grow up together. Since my husband owns a business here, we are likely to be here for the long haul. Is it so much to ask that every one else is, too?
So I’m wondering, how do you guys deal with people coming and GOING from your life?