Things have been… very stressful here at Chez Verde.
For the third week in a row, my anxious daughter is STILL crying every morning before school and most nights before bed. She’s clingy and fragile, and frankly? Driving me crazy. I’m trying to be compassionate with her, but that has been steadily fading away, replaced with exhaustion in dealing with her.
Amidst Anxiousgate 2010, I also developed another round of mastitis, making it the third (3rd!) time I’ve had it since January, and the second time in so many weeks. The last two times I didn’t develop the tell-tale fever, which really had me freaked out. (Let us also take a moment to note I have not breastfed a child in 2 years.)
Had my doctor freaked out too, if she were being honest with me.
So I had a mammogram (procedure itself was no big deal! really!) and a ultrasound. Everything looked fine except for an area of “thickened” tissue that is “probably” from having a recent infection.
And now several brick-and-mortar people are going HUH? CAN’T BE. Marie never stops talking… and she hasn’t said a word about this! Yeah, sorry about that.
You see, I’ve been a leeetle bit- shall we say- anxious about all of this. Wasn’t sleeping well, could hardly eat (severity? 9 lbs in one week gone- HEY-O!… not that I recommend the Do-I-Have-Cancer-AEEEIIIIIII Diet).
I’m better now. I ate a normal dinner last night. And I slept well the last couple of nights. And we are “watching” that thickened area of my Left Texas, which is really all that can be done at this point.
But you know what? During all of this, I received so many wonderful surprises, all from people that had no idea what was going on.
*A friend dropped by with bagels and coffee, totally unexpectedly
*A different friend called me just to say what a good mom I was, which was really nice to hear and totally out of the blue.
*My daughter came home with a “thank you” package from her classroom (for volunteering). The bag was chocked FULL of lots of wonderful treats, many of which were my ultimate favorite, which her teacher had no way of knowing.
*My poppies- my favorite!- bloomed, and much MUCH earlier than usual:
*On Sunday, a friend called and said “We have ribs and strawberry salad that we want to share with you. Can you come for lunch?” Um, yes, YES WE CAN!
*Two different people stopped me at church to compliment my children. One woman said: “We’ve just so enjoyed watching your girls grow over the years.” I resisted the urge to say “THESE LITTLE SHITS?” and simply smiled and thanked her.
*I received fresh flowers. TWICE.
I feel humbled… honored…. grateful… that when our family was falling apart, the universe smiled on us. And sent us so many kindnesses.
It blows my mind, really.
But mostly it made me sure that the world really is full of good things. And by things, I mean people.