“In Waiting”

The other day I was discussing with my grandma on the phone how we were both “in waiting”, for very different reasons.  My grandma’s sister (my great-aunt) was very sick and was going to die any day, so Grandma’s life was sort of on hold while she waited and wondered.  Meanwhile, I am also “in waiting” for this baby, planning little close-to-home things but always wondering if and when this baby will come.

Yesterday while I was at my prenatal appointment, my great-aunt passed away.  She’s not someone I was close to, so I won’t personally be mourning her.  However, being so very pregnant, and thinking of a family member dying is just… weird.  It’s a weird juxtaposition of life and death and endings and beginnings.  I can’t stop thinking about her being GONE now, forever, and this baby almost ready to start his/her life.   So odd.

We won’t be able to travel to the funeral so close to my due date, so that’s a little bit unsettling too.  My whole family will be there; my dad is a pall bearer.  And we’ll be here, “in waiting” for another life to begin, unable to formally say goodbye to a life that just ended.