Breathe

Nauseated. Repeatedly. In intense waves.

“Too much saliva” feeling in my mouth.

One menses in October, none since.

Insomnia. Which I only get when… YOU KNOW.

Green diapers which can mean not enough hind milk, which can mean my milk has changed because of… YOU KNOW.

The fact that IF, YOU KNOW, happened, that baby and Olive could technically be in the same grade.

The thought of WHAT IF IT’S TWINS???  THREE KIDS UNDER AGE ONE OMG AEEEEIIIIII.

I’ve already DONE twins, I don’t need to do “Irish twins” too.

Briefly contemplating if the term “Irish twins” is offensive to Irish people.

One test procured by one husband.

Three long minutes waited.

 

Negative test.

Whew.

You may return to your normal breathing pattern now.

(I’m not sure if I can.)

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13 thoughts on “Breathe

  1. Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH. My heart STOPPED two lines into this post.

    And then I remembered: the same thing happened to me when Felicity was a newborn. I don’t remember how old she was or what in the world led me to think that….YOU KNOW, but I definitely remember having that feeling (dressed up in SHEER PANIC). I had a box of tests stuffed under the bathroom sink from before and I took one and nearly passed out while I waited for the result to appear. Also negative. And I exhaled maybe six weeks later.

    SHEW.

  2. Dude. My heart nearly stopped.

    For what it is worth, I ended up buying bulk tests because what you described was happening to me repeatedly-I was SURE I was pregnant over and over again. (Different scenario though, we wanted to be.)

    My guess? You’re going to see a period within the week.

  3. Phew! Been there… when #2 was not quite 5 months old. I think we know how that turned out.
    Scary indeed! In fact, even though permanent measures have been taken, I still keep some cheap tests around to alleviate my freaking out. 🙂

  4. I was feeling anxious in just the few minutes it took me to read this!

    I am of Irish heritage and far from finding the term “Irish twins” offensive, I’ve used it many a time in my life.

  5. HOLY CROW, I had to skip to the end in order to avoid permanent heart stoppage, and you KNOW how keen I am on pregnancies and babies and unexpected pregnancies and so on. But STILL. Whoa.

  6. That freaked ME out, so I can only imagine how you feel! Last pregnancy I went through the same thing, googling blogs of people with Irish twins, asking Devan how she dealt with having kids so close together. I am pretty sure that sleep deprivation feels EXACTLY LIKE early pregnancy. Scary stuff!

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