Thank you all for helping me decide which photo to enter into the fair. I took your advice, and I entered the two photos that received the most votes. (via the comments section here, facebook, and twitter). I entered “New Mama” and “Curls” and got a red ribbon on “Curls”. Nothing on the other one though, but I still love that photo. (YAY RIBBON!)
We’ve been living life to the max lately. So far this summer we haven’t had a weekend yet (or maybe just one?) where we weren’t either out of town or entertaining house guests. It’s been good, so good. Time is flying by, but our days and our lives are so full of good people and good times that it’s hard to come over here to ye olde blog and whine about it, ya know?
David’s brother is still recovering from a serious illness, and I don’t know if it’s that or WHAT, but I’ve been feeling very “sunrise/sunset” lately. We really DO only have one perfect life to live, so what are we going to DO with it? Also, as busy as life with four little kids is, I often have the distinct feeling of how special this time in our lives is. Exhausting, frustrating, etc, YES, but also this is IT, you know? THIS is the time we’ll look back on, the time when our kids were little, the whole teething and losing teeth, May Day baskets and Saint Nick, kitchen sink baths and bedtime stories. We quite literally live with the pitter patter of little feet– often at 2am. Something has clicked this time around though, where those little (and big) annoyances and inconveniences don’t usually get the best of me, where I can see beyond the day to day exhaustions to the bigger picture and feel very content.
I know, I KNOW, totally schmoopy, I KNOW. And is this season REALLY going to be all that more wonderful than the next, or the one after that? Probably not. I guess there’s just something special about LOVING the season you’re in, about feeling appreciation for the NOW, instead of keeping one eye on the horizon, waiting for the next thing. Being content is one of my life’s goals, and so I notice when it happens. Lately contentment is giving me an ache in my belly– the good kind– and I feel like I could just burst into tears over the sheer absolute DUMB LUCK I have to be living this here life.
My three big girls and David went camping this weekend, and when I saw them all dirty and bug-bitten, beaming and full of cousin-love, I just couldn’t believe they were all “mine”, at least for now. Have you ever glanced across the room and caught a glimpse of someone else holding your baby, and it took your breath away? Like, THAT IS MY BABY OVER THERE, I NEVER SEE HER FORM THIS ANGLE HOLY SHIT SHE’S MIIIIIINE AND THAT’S WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE WHEN OTHERS SEE HER IN MY ARMS!!! That’s the same feeling I get sometimes, when I see my older girls from afar, or after not seeing them for awhile. HOLY SHIT, you guys. They are HUMAN PEOPLE that go out into the world and have relationships and experiences ALL THEIR OWN! I MADE THOSE HUMANS IN MY BODY!
It’s just so weird, those moments of perspective. I swear to you, when it is time, I will let these girls go out into the world with all the grace I can muster, but for now? I’m tucking them under my wing a little longer. I’m so glad that tonight, they are all asleep upstairs.